It usually happens about 3 months postpartum. I look in the mirror and feel dismayed that my body hasn't bounced back to its pre-pregnancy state.
This is my fourth time to have a postpartum body. I have four kids running me ragged and filling my heart with joy I can barely contain.
It usually happens about the 3-month mark, once I've started sleeping again and things are settling down into a good rhythm. I realize that I am fat. Like, really fat. It wasn't just pregnancy. I don't fit into my old clothes. I am having a hard time fitting into this body.
Enter feelings of shame.
I stepped back yesterday and tried to understand why I am feeling shame now, after 3 months. I didn't feel this way during pregnancy or until now. I think it's because I don't have the excuse of being pregnant or having just given birth. It must be time to get back on the body-shaming wagon because I'm not pregnant anymore!
Um. Excuse me, self, but let me remind you that you don't need any excuse to be the size you are. You are not too much. You are loved. You are enough. You are welcome to be all of who you are right now.
No more excuses. I am allowed to fit into my body. I am allowed to take up as much space as I need--emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually.